Dilemma

Everytime you take his name
My heart skips a beat
Everytime you talk of peace
In a shell do I retreat.

I am not the jealous kinds
Nor the one who would envy
The thought of you back to him
Scares the hell out of me.

You are mine, yet his
This truth hurts every day
Within me I feel you
Yet you are so far away.

Sometimes I want to destroy
All that we have had
But a life without you
Looks totally dead and sad.

What have you done to me
And what now do I do?
Life without you was hell
And life with you too.